To be Honest, I'm Lost

Some preface: I had accepted Christ before I came to college, but college was where I actually started having a relationship with Christ. Actually treating him as a God who's personal and cares about me, David -- a God who specifically loves me.

This realization clicked in my mind. Instead of praying, "Thanks for dying for our sins," I prayed, "Thanks for dying for MY sins, all the times I'VE failed."

So back to the heart of this post: Ever since college I've been searching for a daily regimen. Should I pray when I wake up? Should I read the Bible at night? What's right?

I've tried a lot of things. The only thing that really stuck was writing in a prayer journal every night. I read the Bible before going to bed, but couldn't recollect anything I read the night before. It didn't stick. Why was I reading the Bible? Was it because I wanted to learn God's Word or was I doing it because I knew I should?

After Steve Halstead talked at the Well last week, I've been struggling with this issue. His talk made me analyze how I pray. This lead me to analyze everything else I did throughout my day. I found my morning devotional was meaningless, my Bible reading was done out of duty.

I learn a lot in Bible study. That's nice but what about after? The next day, the next week? After study, I have a nice sheet with notes on it, but what do I do with it? Should I keep it? Study it? What the heck am I supposed to do?

I made an effort to pray more. That's helped and has been a sure way to get closer to God. I know that's a must. As a person, I like structure. I need to find a routine that's meaningful. Or maybe God wants me to stop relying on the things I do and actually start focusing on our relationship. I think that's it. That sounded like God talking and not me.

This whole experience has been discouraging and knowing that I'm such a newbie at having a relationship with God doesn't help much. But I know that God is with me through it all and he has a plan. I think it's helped me realize how lost I am without him guiding me.

God, give me whatever I need right now. Show me whatever you need to show me. Teach me whatever I need to know. Be my teacher, friend, counselor, father...be my everything, Lord. Amen.

Out of This World

A few days ago, I was eating breakfast in the Caf. It was pretty empty so the radio could be clearly heard. These are the lyrics of one of the songs:

You're my obsession
You're my obsession
What do you want me to do
To make you sleep with me?

That's verbatim. No joke. I was dumbstruck at how blatant and un-hidden the suggestive lyrics were. I chuckled to myself and thought, "Oh, world. You're too much." I looked around at everyone else eating. No one else was experiencing my disgust or awe. Why?

I remembered a verse my sister mentioned once. Philippians 3:17-25.

"For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

I'm a citizen of heaven. That's so cool. No wonder I recognize the morally askew world and see its brokenness. No wonder I see others wasting away their lives and know they're lost, only living for what the world has to offer. No wonder I feel out of place when I hear such worldy lyrics.

Thanks, God, for changing my heart.

Simple But True

Today I noticed something.

I have friends here at Bucknell...duh. BUT -- they care about me and what's happening in my life. That really makes me feel loved.

Almost everyone I encounter has asked about the latest news on my possible room switch. Unfortunately, I have no news, but you the fact that they're asking is thoughtful and nice.

So if anyone's wondering how to love a friend - care for them by caring about them. That's all it takes.

Thanks for college, God. I can't put into words how much you've cared for me here, just by being who you are and for placing these amazing people in my life.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bison

Some background before the story:

I’ve been thinking about who I can reach out to this semester, and I’ve been drawing a blank. No one came to mind. In essence, I had a question. Yesterday, God answered.

I was in the Caf getting takeout to eat lunch in the Bison. A former classmate got up from his table and came up to me. This was our conversation:

Him: “Hey David.”
Me: (surprised) “Oh, hey Foster!”
Him: “How was your break?”
Me: “It was good. What about you?”
Him: “Not bad. Can’t complain.”

I would’ve kept talking, but he slowly drifted away back to his table of friends. For seeing him for only 15 seconds, he seemed bummed and gloomy.

No big deal, right?

Not really. The more I think about it, the stranger it is. We sat next to each other in class and didn’t speak until about halfway through the semester (I was really shy and quiet in this class and only in this class; no idea why). We occasionally made jokes and small talk. Never hung out outside class. The first time in class he called me by my name, I was surprised he knew it.

Therefore, I was caught off guard when he approached me like that yesterday. I guess a little love goes a long way. It never came across my mind that I would have any impact or lasting effect on this kid. I thought we would go our separate ways after class.

However, I feel like God is calling me to reach out to him, if only being a nice friendly face. That’s cool. I’m excited to see where this leads. Hopefully I’ll have updates on the matter. Finally something blog-worthy in my life!

Thanks for GPT!

I want to give a shoutout to J.C. for protecting my boy Garyn on his mission trip to Haiti last week.

If you've turned on the news today, you know about the 7.0 earthquake in Haiti that killed thousands of people and wreaked serious havoc.

I'm thankful for Garyn's trip and the awesome experience he had. But I'm especially thankful he's back safe in the good ol' US of A.

Pray for Haiti!

P-A-R-T-YYY!

As finals are almost done, I want to say thanks for the party, guys. It's been real...really real (you're welcome FF5 freaks).

I'm excited for next semester: new classes, getting to know my friends more, meeting new friends, serving on the Large Group Team, and seeing the amazing things God's going to do on campus and in our lives.

I'm looking forward to this break and letting God work through me to share his love with my family and friends.

So what I'm sayin' is that I'm ready to bake some cookies.

Greetings Blogosphere!

And by blogosphere, I mean the four other bloggers that will read this: Liz, Garyn, Sfekas, and Matt.

I have some exciting news folks: I got punched in the face by a girl! I'm telling this against my better judgment (you may view me as less of a man) to bring laughter and good cheer to all. Besides L. Mac of course because she was the puncher. And what a punch! A right hook, if I correctly recollect (and I always do; I have the memory of an elephant). My nose bled profusely for the next half hour (as in, not at all).

Anyways, this blog stuff is pretty exciting. I think it's going to be lots of fun.

My first semester at Bucknell is almost over. It went fast, but it feels like I've been here forever. I've met lots of cool friends and had lots of fun times. The fellowship is awesome too. Basically, God has blessed me with an amazing home here, and I'm very thankful.

I have to get my Astro on, so I'll blog later.