Craziest Thing Ever

I had the option of going to a concert tonight with Christ, Liz, and Josh. I was kind of split - I knew it'd be fun but I just started an ambitious work ahead regimen. I prayed about it and I wasn't feeling the concert so I stayed.

AND NOW I KNOW WHY GOD WANTED ME TO STAY!

I had Philippians tonight and we discussed Paul, Timothy, and E-somebodyorother -- all amazing disciples leading crazy God-centered lives. E-somebodyorother was sent to deliver a package to Paul in prison, got really sick, but kept going. He was so determined in his task (thinking about others and no himself), that he risked his life to finish his trip to Paul. Speaking of Paul, he was in jail for speaking about Jesus and Paul was joyful about his sentence! He knew it was where God had put him.

We continued to talk about what that kind of faith would look like in our lives. What if we followed Jesus' calling without hestitation, no matter what. Walking down the stairs of the LC, I told Lindsay, "That's all so cool, yet unbelieveably scary. I feel like I'll never attain that kind of life."

At the bottom of the stairs, is three guys: my friend JD, and two other guys.

JD: "Hey, do you want to live with us in a Gateway next year? We need another person."

DG: (mentally) "Haha, no way."
(reality) I skirt around the question and make my way to leave.

Halfway out the door, JD asks, "So that's a no?"

DG: "I mean, I don't know half the people. It's just..." I drift off and slide away.

But then I'm thinking...wait. Was that God talking to me? I literally was in the middle of discussing the crazy-go-for-it-God's-plan-insanity mindset/lifestyle.

And then this. Bam. Couldn't get more in my face.

I go to Seventh Street (it's a cafe for all you non-Bucknellians) and pray about it for five minutes. As in, I time it on my phone. I feel like I should do this. I feel like this is God's plan.

If you know me at all, you know I'm not a risk-taker. At all. I play it safe. I'm the one in the group of friends in the midst of doing something dumb that has second thoughts and secretly wants to stop. So I know this spur-of-the-moment feeling is not from me and my desires.

Long story short -- actually short story shorter (this whole thing happened in the span of 20 minutes): I'm living in a Gateway next year with my friend and two guys I don't know, no even their names. God is hilarious.

What a fun, amazing, insane, not scary because I haven't actually thought about it yet, feeling and hope for next year and the sweet things God has planned!

Longest post ever but so deservingly.

Yeah, about that...

In my last post, I said I was walking. And now I know why!

Spring Break was phenomenal, amazing, perfect -- just what I needed.

God really does know what he's doing.

Sidenote: I'm debating saying bye bye to the blogosphere, like Garyn did. We'll see.

Comfort and Encouragement

Today in bible study we discussed some of Isaiah 40. This is the part of the passage that spoke to me:

"They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
- Isaiah 40:31

These are three times in everyone's spiritual journey. Sometimes after a weekend retreat or an amazing Well, we're on a Jesus high and we soar. Other times are less exciting but God's presence is still strong; we're running. Finally, when we don't feel God's presence or may feel stuck in a rut, we walk.

Lately, I've been feeling stagnant in my faith. I haven't felt anything mind-blowing or anything out of the ordinary. Some of my friends are pumped up and having awesome experiences, so what about me? This has been discouraging and I felt like I was doing something wrong or I was missing something.

Luckily, God showed me otherwise with this passage. Right now, in my spiritual journey, I'm walking. For whatever reason, I'm not prepared to run right now. The best part of what the passage tells me is that no matter what stage I'm in, soaring, running, or walking, I'm still moving closer and closer to God.

Another day living in faith and with the Spirit inside me is one more day with my Creator and Redeemer. How cool is that?

The Perfect Dad

He goes to all my games.
He doesn't care if I lose.
He stays up late to help me with my homework.
He checks under my bed for monsters.
He encourages me in all that I do.
He lets me make mistakes.
He shares his wisdom and gives the best advice.
He's available to talk whenever I please.
He wants only the best for me.
He doesn't care if I laugh with him, cry with him, or am serious with him.
He drops everything to spend time with me.
He challenges me, promising to be there guiding me.
He hugs me no matter how old I get or who's looking.
He loves me just as I am, no matter what.

My Father is the perfect dad.

To be Honest, I'm Lost

Some preface: I had accepted Christ before I came to college, but college was where I actually started having a relationship with Christ. Actually treating him as a God who's personal and cares about me, David -- a God who specifically loves me.

This realization clicked in my mind. Instead of praying, "Thanks for dying for our sins," I prayed, "Thanks for dying for MY sins, all the times I'VE failed."

So back to the heart of this post: Ever since college I've been searching for a daily regimen. Should I pray when I wake up? Should I read the Bible at night? What's right?

I've tried a lot of things. The only thing that really stuck was writing in a prayer journal every night. I read the Bible before going to bed, but couldn't recollect anything I read the night before. It didn't stick. Why was I reading the Bible? Was it because I wanted to learn God's Word or was I doing it because I knew I should?

After Steve Halstead talked at the Well last week, I've been struggling with this issue. His talk made me analyze how I pray. This lead me to analyze everything else I did throughout my day. I found my morning devotional was meaningless, my Bible reading was done out of duty.

I learn a lot in Bible study. That's nice but what about after? The next day, the next week? After study, I have a nice sheet with notes on it, but what do I do with it? Should I keep it? Study it? What the heck am I supposed to do?

I made an effort to pray more. That's helped and has been a sure way to get closer to God. I know that's a must. As a person, I like structure. I need to find a routine that's meaningful. Or maybe God wants me to stop relying on the things I do and actually start focusing on our relationship. I think that's it. That sounded like God talking and not me.

This whole experience has been discouraging and knowing that I'm such a newbie at having a relationship with God doesn't help much. But I know that God is with me through it all and he has a plan. I think it's helped me realize how lost I am without him guiding me.

God, give me whatever I need right now. Show me whatever you need to show me. Teach me whatever I need to know. Be my teacher, friend, counselor, father...be my everything, Lord. Amen.

Out of This World

A few days ago, I was eating breakfast in the Caf. It was pretty empty so the radio could be clearly heard. These are the lyrics of one of the songs:

You're my obsession
You're my obsession
What do you want me to do
To make you sleep with me?

That's verbatim. No joke. I was dumbstruck at how blatant and un-hidden the suggestive lyrics were. I chuckled to myself and thought, "Oh, world. You're too much." I looked around at everyone else eating. No one else was experiencing my disgust or awe. Why?

I remembered a verse my sister mentioned once. Philippians 3:17-25.

"For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

I'm a citizen of heaven. That's so cool. No wonder I recognize the morally askew world and see its brokenness. No wonder I see others wasting away their lives and know they're lost, only living for what the world has to offer. No wonder I feel out of place when I hear such worldy lyrics.

Thanks, God, for changing my heart.

Simple But True

Today I noticed something.

I have friends here at Bucknell...duh. BUT -- they care about me and what's happening in my life. That really makes me feel loved.

Almost everyone I encounter has asked about the latest news on my possible room switch. Unfortunately, I have no news, but you the fact that they're asking is thoughtful and nice.

So if anyone's wondering how to love a friend - care for them by caring about them. That's all it takes.

Thanks for college, God. I can't put into words how much you've cared for me here, just by being who you are and for placing these amazing people in my life.